Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
