Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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