That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
