he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
