Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
