Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You are the jesus of drinking
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
