We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
