What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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