I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dignity is for republicans.
he fucked my hip out of place.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
