Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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