fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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