You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Randomize
