I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
