He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
