had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
