She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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