yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
