ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
