I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
