WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
