there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
