i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
