Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
