I cannot find my penis.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
