we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Randomize
