Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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