Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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