i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
