Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
