i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
