my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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