for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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