So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
