I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize