Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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