He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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