I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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