I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
