Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
