Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
