D3 body, D1 cock
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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