I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
