Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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