he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
