I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
