I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
