I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
