Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
