Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
