You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
