I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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