Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
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