My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
