It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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