1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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